Endings and Beginings

Today is the day....

We closed on our house in Washington state!!!!  We purchased this home with the intent to live there for a long time (which we say everywhere we go).  It was Oct 2014 when we moved into the house and worked on selling our house in Nebraska.  We officially signed for the house in Feb of 2015 and it was great.  It had acreage that was manageable, it had room enough for all of our family, it had amazing views, and it was exciting.

Then summer of 2016 Charlie decided to apply for a promotion that would bring us to New England.  He got the job and left in January.  Washington had more snow that winter than it had had the entire time we lived there (6 years).  And then, once the snow went away, there was a mudslide that caused my 5 min drive to work to become an hour commute.  Our one main highway in the small town we lived in was shut down.  There was no chance it would open for quite a while.  So there I am, 3 small kids, 2 in school and one being watched by a friend, and every possible hindrance was occurring.

Finally, once summer hit the kids and I were able to move to NH with Charlie.  However, we did not sell our home.  We rented it out.  Luckily we were able to purchase a home in NH when Charlie moved there because we had renters lined up for the Washington house.  The home in NH was a log cabin (Charlie's dream home) on 32+ acres just outside of the small town we lived in.  

We thought we would be selling the Washington house to our renters within a year or two.  This did not happen.  They rented the house for the entire time that we lived in NH (4 years).  It worked out for us as the mortgage was paid, but we wanted to be done with a home we could not maintain as it was so far from us.  So the summer of 2021 we got a move to Az.  We put our NH house up for sale and were under contract.  Now we just had to sell the Wa house.

I knew a real estate agent in Wa and she got to work setting up a deal with the former owner's daughter.  It could not have worked out better.  We had a lot of glitches on the way and were disappointed here and there, but our agent kept our spirits up and worked hard to make sure everything worked out.  And now, it is official.  We do not own our home in Washington.

Having Babies Part 3

I decided to make this a 3 part series because I think people need breaks when they read some things.  You may not be super interested in the stories I am telling.  Your eyes might be getting tired.  You may just want to get on with your day.  Who knows the reason.  However, I hope that the different posts has been more of a help than a burden.
So, this story starts in November 2011.  I went to watch my nephews (now 8 and 14) with my two children in Seattle.  My sister in law was moving my brother from Virginia to Washington and I was trying to help out so they could spend time together just them.  They had been separated for 3 years due to Navy needs and financial constraints.  Anyhow, I spent a week with the boys and my kids all by myself.  C and I had been considering having a third child of our own just before this and the idea was still fresh in my mind.  After a week with 4 kids I decided two was perfect for us.  We all fit in the car.  We all fit at a table.  They are already expensive and another would be nuts.
So I was resolved to enjoying our 4 person family.  Then in February I found out I was pregnant.  My first response was anger and frustration.  I did not plan this.  What the heck!?!?!  I was starting a masters program in Education in March and I dont have time to be pregnant.  I was also just hired by the school district up here to be a substitute teacher.  How could I do that, raise my kids, be a stay at home mom, and be pregnant.  ARGH!!!!
I also had another challenge.  I no longer live in a city, or really anywhere near anything.  The Dr is 2 hours away and so is the hospital.  Are you kidding me?  Who does this?  So I was emotional, pregnant, and overwhelmed.  Oh and add to that the fact that my husband was going to training for 2 weeks here, 2 weeks there, and a 5 week trip to training across the country.  WHAT!?!?!  One more thing, he was also trying to get selected for some training that would be starting 2 weeks after my due date and where we would not get to talk much if at all because the training is really rigorous.  This is just the pits!!!
Well, I made it through all the training, some of my school stuff, and raising my other children pretty well.  I was exhausted and ready to have this baby by the time Sept showed up.  We celebrated Hunters 3 birthday and the next day we hung out as a family.  The day after that we took Hay and Hunter to my friend's house to stay until we got back from having the baby.  Then C and I headed down to Spokane to spend the night in a hotel.  We had to be at the hospital at 0500 on Sept 21 so I wanted to stay in town and be as close as possible.  C took me out to a nice dinner at PF Changs the night before, we went to bed early, and we got to the hospital at 0440 ready to go.
The nurses were fantastic and hilarious.  The Dr showed up late so we were pushed from the first delivery at 0730 to the second at 0830.  I was brought into the room and given my spinal, again not the most fun I have ever had.  Once administered I could not feel a thing.  Then came the circus experience.  As another new person came in they had to introduce themselves.  I would respond with "Hi and welcome to the party" to most of them and it cut the tension.  It is kind of awkward as I was certain they could see every part of me that I hate to see, let alone share with others.  Anyhow, they started the c-section and my biggest concern was that my nose was so itchy.  I was HIGH!
I have realized that I could never be a druggy.  I hate the feelings of losing control and it makes me very uncomfortable.  So, I spent the majority of the surgery asking C to itch my nose and he kept looking at me like I was a freako.  Oh well.  Isabella was born and she was perfect!  I could not feel a thing but I could see her and watch everything.  They weighed her in at 8 lbs exactly.  She then went straight into Cs arms and she was alert and responsive.  She was beautiful.  The surgery took a lot longer to finish but I had requested that they tie the tubes while in there.  I figure 3 surgeries is a lot and I do not need to push for anymore especially since I was 31 already.
Once we were in recovery I felt something was so different.  I wanted to get up and move around.  I felt amazing!  This Dr was the coolest one in the planet.  I dont know how he did it but I felt great.  I was moving earlier, I was off drugs sooner, and my recovery at home was easier.  Thank goodness because my other two were having a hard time letting mommy be and not wanting to be near me.  This was the first time I had a baby and my mom wasn't able to be there.  This was just C and I.  It was tough and it was wonderful for us.  We leaned on each other and we had some amazing friends help us out.  We were very blessed.
Once cleaned up I got to see how amazing Izzy really was.  She had hair that was lighter brown and had highlights in it.  It was beautiful and similar to Hunter's hair.  Then I noticed her eyes were like his as well.  Hunter has Hazel eyes that are more blue/green than anything and Izzy looked just like she might too.  She now has amazing blue eyes just like her daddy.
Each of my deliveries were different and amazing in their own way.  Each baby added a new element to my life and to my family.  Each experience made me a little older, a little more tired, and a lot more amazed by what I was given.  I have three wonderful and amazing children who mean the world to me.  I have two beautiful girls, one with big brown eyes and one with blue.  I have a little boy with blue eyes and a very barrelled rib cage and all the love in the world to share with me.  I am blessed and so lucky, and even though they drive me crazy they also make me so proud and happy on a daily basis.
So there it is.  There are my three stories.  I hope you have enjoyed them.  They are probably more for me and for my memories, but thanks for reading them.

Having Babies Part 2

9 months after having our first we were lucky enough to get pregnant again.  It was the week before Christmas and we were headed home to Az to celebrate.  I was 6 weeks pregnant and we were excited but still I was nervous about telling anyone.  Thank goodness for my cautious tendencies because the day before we left I began to have another miscarriage.  I was sad, but this time it was different.  This time I had my little girl to look at and to hold and to hug.  This time I could handle the fact that we lost another child because I knew it would happen at some point again.  I knew I would get pregnant and was capable of carrying a baby to term.
So we went home and didn't mention anything to anyone.  I didn't want to ruin their Christmas and we were enjoying being with some family.  8 weeks later I was pregnant again and already 6 weeks.  That means 2 weeks after the miscarriage I got pregnant.  I was a little nervous with this information because I was sure I would miscarry again and because the Drs suggest waiting a few months before you try again.  We didn't even try.  It just kind of happened.  Then I made it to 3 months, then 20 weeks and we found out it was a boy, then 6 months... this was nuts!  I was nervous the whole time that something had to be wrong.  He was going to be missing a toe or a finger, he was going to be handicapped in some way.  That had to be the way it was going to be because I got pregnant when I "wasn't supposed to" get pregnant.
Finally it was time.  Since I did not progress correctly for the first baby the Dr suggested we do a C-Section again.  I was okay with that since I was afraid I was/am broken.  So we planned a C-Section for 40 weeks.  I was convinced that since I did not have to go through labor or any of the pain of labor I would recover more quickly.  This was going to be a breeze.  And then on Sept 18th we went to the hospital (which by the way was conveniently located 15 min from the house).  It was 7 in the morning, I was rested, my mom was in town to watch Haylie, this was going to be easy peasy.
I was taken into the operating room and given the spinal.  Those are not very fun as you have to curve your back, hold your knees, and deal with the ginormous belly in front of you all without moving and someone putting a huge needle into your spinal area.  Not awesome.  During the surgery everything seemed fine, however there was a heavy pain in my right rib.  This was something I did not remember from the first delivery.  Im not sure I would remember much from the first since I was so drugged and exhausted, but this was not right.  I mentioned it to the Dr and she said, "Well I am really having to get in there to get him out so I am pushing down some on your side".  Awesome!
Hunter came out and he was perfect.  He was screaming some and was a very healthy 8lb 4 oz.  I was stoked and I was aware of everything going on.  I was excited to meet him.  I got to hold him once in recovery and he was beautiful.  He had hair and it was like he had highlighted or frosted tips.  He had blue eyes, but these ones were lighter than haylie's (which later turned brown) so maybe they would stay that way.  He was perfect.  My recovery was not as quick as I wanted.  It still took me a good month until I felt normal.  C-Sections are the pits I tell you, but the benefit is that you know the exact day you are having the baby.

Having Babies part 1

I read somewhere recently that you should put down your children's birth stories as soon as you can so you remember them.  Since it has only been 5.5 years since I had my first I figure it's time.  I have 5 stories, sort of, and so this may take a while.
My first pregnancy I was so excited.  C was gone at training and that was a bummer, but I was pregnant and I could not wait to tell everyone.  I was 6 weeks along, it was Easter 2008, and I was with my surrogate family/friends in Nebraska celebrating without C.  I could not help but share the wonderful news.  Everyone was excited for me and it was a great day.  The next day I had a miscarriage.  It's nothing more than a period with some uncomfortable cramping.  Since I don't generally have cramping and I knew I was pregnant I was upset.  I ended up going to the Urgent Care clinic through the base to be seen and they said, "you're miscarrying right now? We can't help you.  You need to go to the ER".  As a first time pregnant woman, emotional, and without a husband, this sucked!  I called a friend and she went to the ER with me.  We spent hours there and they poked and prodded me with internal ultrasound equipment, a catheter, and other such wonderful stuff to confirm my suspicions.  I took the week off of work and had to go to the lady Dr that week to get a checkup on base.  While there I informed them I had been poked and prodded enough and I would not be physically checked.  The Dr was fine with that but had a sit down chat to see how I was.  He informed me he understood as his wife had miscarried too.  He then said the thing I will never forget, "doesn't it just make you angry knowing even crack whores get pregnant?  What a waste".  Wow, talk about timing and compassion.
Three months later C and I found out we were pregnant again.  This time I did not want to tell anyone.  I was so scared of miscarrying another child that I swore I would not tell anyone until 3 months was up.  C on the other hand could not wait to share the news.  He did not have to see me go through the miscarriage so he did not realize how emotionally challenging that was for me.  He told his family and a few friends, but mainly we kept it quiet.  At 42 weeks we went to the hospital to give birth to our first born.  I decided to induce because even though my pregnancies are not hard, I hate being pregnant.  I was done.  I was tapped out.  So we induce on Monday morning at 0800 Mar 24.  I felt like I was a house.  I had chords plugged into me everywhere, I had a monitor on my belly to watch babies heart rate, I had a monitor on my finger to keep track of my heart, and we were moving along.  Throughout the day the baby would get a little stressed and I would be put on my side and on oxygen.  Things would calm down and I could go back to normal.  I had no idea how long this would take.
My water finally broke at 0100 on Tues morning.  I got up to use the restroom and C cleaned up the bed for me.  We informed the nurse that this happened and she didnt believe us.  Then the contractions started.  What a wimpy I turned out to be.  I asked for drugs and they gave me some.  The first dose lasted 1 hr.  The second dose lasted 45 min. The third dose lasted 30 min.  I wasnt sleeping much, the contractions sucked, I was unhappy.  We did this for 6 hours.  At some point I hallucinated a floating lite bright behind Cs head and began singing the song.  C then began to freak out because his wife was a weirdo.  I got into the tub, I rocked in a rocking chair (which was not comfortable), I threw up a few times... I hated pregnancy again and even more.
At 0700 on Wed I begged the Dr to let me have an epidural.  I am a wimp!  So then the Dr hooked me up and with what felt like 10 students watching I was given the epidural.  It was like night and day.  C watched the monitor of contractions and looked at me and was like, "You can't feel that?!" I was in heaven.  Finally we could get some sleep.  By about mid afternoon the epidural started to wear off.  What the hell is that? They fixed whatever they needed and it was all better, for a while.  Around 9pm the nurse checked my progression and said "you are 9 cm let's start pushing and I will call in the Dr".  Okie dokie!  So I start pushing.  We get through about 3 contractions of pushing and my Dr shows up.  "You need to stop pushing.  You are at 6 cm".  What?!?!?!?!
Oh by the way, my epidural wore off again, so I was feeling everything.  My Dr looked at me and said, "you have dont well!  Your baby is fine right now, you are doing okay right now, I think it's time to go to a C-Section.  You are not progressing and the baby is.  Do you both want to proceed with a C-Section?"  At this point I was so exhausted, I was in pain, my body was not working this out, I was done.  I agreed and C was right there with me.
We went in for the C-Section.  I don't remember much of what happened next.  I do remember laying on the table like Jesus with my arms straight out to the sides.  At one point during the procedure I felt something hitting my hand.  It reminded me of the tentacles from Independence Day on the Alien.  I was worried it was my intestines.  After asking C later I was told it was the suction tube which made a lot more sense.  Haylie came out screaming just like she was supposed to and C was able to cut the chord and watched them take care of her.  He was then invited to do the first bath with some nurse assistance while I was finished up and put into post op.
I remember being wheeled into the post op room and I felt like I was hit by a truck.  I was dry heaving, I wanted to know what was going on but had no clue what people were saying.  I vaguely remember C coming in to ask me if I wanted to see my daughter.  This will weigh on my heart for my entire life.  My response was "no".  What he told me later was that he was holding her.  I had no idea.  The Dr started talking to me about possibly needing a blood transfusion and even though I completely knew what that was my response was to ask her what it was.  It was as if my mind was not connected to my mouth or there were a couple lines of thought going on and stupid was coming out of my mouth.
I was shaking violently, dry heaving/throwing up, and just looking pale and pathetic.  C told me later he truly feared that I was going to die.  Luckily I did not end up needing a blood transfusion and I recovered okay.  It took me quite a while to feel normal again and that was a pain.  I got to see Haylie a few hours later (by the way, she was born at 0024 on Wed March 26) and the rest of the time in the hospital was very simple and with no complications.
It took me the entire 6 weeks to really recover and get my abdominal strength back.  I don't know if it was advisable to do the induction or if I would have had different labors if I had just waited.  I do know that it was something that changed me forever and it is something I won't likely forget.  Not only was it the worst couple of days/night of my life, it was one of the best days of my life.  This was the toughest of my deliveries, so the next part will be much shorter.  I just wanted to get this all written down before I completely forget the details.  If you have read this, thank you for sticking with me.  I hope it has enlightened you a little and I will be back with some more soon.

School Anxiety

I have been so excited for H1 to begin school and to experience her next step in life.  She turned 5 in Mar and begins school just after Labor Day weekend.  We were able to check out part of a class in the spring and she was amazing.  She was quiet, attentive, excited, and oh so eager to experience everything.
Her class is going to have 22 students in it.  At first they asked all the parents if we wanted them to split up such a large class.  This is just a gentle reminder that we live in a very small town/tri-town area that consists of 400-800 people total (NOT EACH).  Since I grew up in Phoenix/Tempe, Az I was almost laughing at the question.  So many teachers there would almost kill to get a class that small.
Anyhow, H1 and I have been working on letters and writing (albeit not as much as I should have) and on her numbers.  She is doing really well in my opinion and amazes me frequently.  However, the other night I was laying in bed worrying that I have not done enough.
Have I read enough books with her?  Have we practiced her letters and numbers enough?  Does she need to know all those nursery rhymes, which by the way I don't know all of them, before school starts?  And then I started worrying about how the other kids are going to respond to her.  IS she going to have friends?  Will she be picked on?  Is she going to cry when she is at school or on the way?  THEN I began worrying about the bus ride.  Should I just drop her off at school in the mornings?  Will she be picked on if she rides the bus?  AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Needless to say, I am having some issues.  I just want time to stand still so I can control everything.  I know my little girl is strong and amazing in so many ways and she is innocent.  Am I ready for her to grow up and deal with all the awesomeness that comes with other peoples children?
I am doing what I can to control the issues and continue to believe that this will be great for all of us.  It will be time for just me and H2, time with Izz Biz, time for me, and such amazing experiences and growth for H1.  I just need to get through the first week or so and then hopefully I will be better.

Working out...

Oh my gosh do I have to vent.  I have been trying out different workout options for a couple years now.  2 years ago I did Zumba and was getting my legs in shape but my lungs didn't get much out of it.  Don't get me wrong, Zumba is tough and exhausting and a heck of a workout.  I'm just saying that for me it didn't get me into the physical condition that I am hoping to be in.
Then I got pregnant and pretty much gave up working out for a year.  I am being honest because there is no reason to hide it at this point.  I got up to 199 lbs with the pregnancy and since I got my tubes tied I swore that after the baby I would take my body back.  I spent 4 years sitting around 183 when I was in the military and was just lucky that my body type hides my weight pretty well.  This is something I never want to get back to.
So, this year I decided to try out turbo fire from Beach Body.  No, I am not a coach and no I will not get anything from this review.  I like it a lot but it is a little tough on my knees sometimes.  I started out this year around 175 and I have lost 15 lbs and at one point was even at 20 lbs.  I took a break from working out because I got sick and then had some family deaths and funerals followed by some family visits, and I just wasnt really feeling like doing much.
Finally this month I decided to get back on the horse.  I have started running "with" my husband.  For those that don't know, he is a former marine who used to run 6 min mile pace for 3 miles without even thinking.  He has those tiny little chicken legs that make him faster than blazes and make me super jealous.  I have those thick farmer "tree trunk" legs that are strong but feel like 10,000 lbs weights when I run.  He looks like a nimble freaking antelope and I feel like a slow rolling buffalo.
Anyhow, back to the point.  I am now trying out running and I have actually gained 3-4 lbs back.  SO FRUSTRATING!  I keep trying to believe that it is muscle, but that is extremely challenging to do when I have to force myself to do this type of workout.  I also get the lovely opportunity to do push-ups, sit-ups, and pull-ups (Don't get too excited, I have a goal to be able to do one by the end of the year).  Now I am trying to figure how to mix in turbo fire on my off days from running (which at a minimum at Mon and Thurs) and not get burnt out but to finally reach my goal of being in the 140s and mostly hitting 140 at some point again.  Honestly though, I would just like to be fit.
So I have a couple goals I tried to set for myself last year when I was about to give birth to my beautiful third child, and here they are...

1. Be able to do 1 (ONE) pull up
2. Run a 5k (I have never ran much more than 2 miles at a time in my entire life)
3. Get back to the 140 region in weight

I am thinking that I will focus more on being in shape and strong than a specific weight.  I do want to look better in clothes and finally buy some clothes that are more me but more grown up as well.  I havent bought any new clothes in years because I wanted to be a thinner/healthier me.  So, it is time to take back my life and accomplish my goals.  I am giving myself to the end of the year to feel fit.  I think I am well on my way and on the right track.  I just hope that I can set a good example for my children about fitness and taking care of ones own self in the process.  I want to live a long and healthy life and I hope that I can inspire my children to do the same thing.
Time to get some workouts in and accomplish these very simple goals... It may be frustrating and challenging, but it will be worth it.

Down River Days Parade time

 Who doesn't love a parade?  And then you throw into the story the fact that we live in a very small town and it becomes even more endearing.  While I could inundate this post with pics of all the things we saw while watching the parade, I am going to pass on that and post pics of my cuties.

First we have the ever changing 10 month old darling Isabella.  She is crawling everywhere and did pretty well just watching all the exciting parts of the parade.

 Then we have my photo fiends, Haylie and Hunter.  They are too cute for words in my opinion.  This was the pre-parade photo to help pass the time as mommy got us to the parade 1hr early... oops.  But hey, we got to sit in the shade.

 Cant help but post both of the shots as the second one is a little sweeter.

Then we have the three amigos.  Our friends visited us from 4 hours away and these three were practically inseparable. 

So, then I started taking photos again to try and pass some time and these were the faces I was getting.  All three of them are adorable and completely ridiculous! 

Finally the parade started.  Now we got to see Daddy riding on his horse for work.  We think he is pretty amazing and for those who don't know him, he is the one carrying the BP flag. 

Overall I think the horses performed smashingly considering that there were a bunch of noisy people, vehicles, and distractions everywhere.  Plus that guy second from the right is pretty darn cute! 

The kids started noticing that people were throwing things from the vehicles going by in the parade.  Wait, whats that?  ITS CANDY!!!! 

And then began the chaos... 

Followed by continuous scavenging for candy.

Overall it was a nice time out and a cute little parade.  The kids were fun to watch as they got excited, curious, annoyed (by noise and each other), and more than anything had fun.  It was a great time and always nice to be able to enjoy something in our town of 400 people.