First Impressions

I always hate first impressions.  There is so much riding on them and yet most the time we just blow them way out of proportion.  Since this is the second time I have moved this year I am getting to redo many first impressions.  Its both frustrating and somewhat terrifying.  I would hate for these new people to dislike me on account of the fact that we now live in a small town and they are the only ones our age.
This kind of pressure reminds me of high school.  I never really felt like I was good enough or like I fit in.  I spent a lot of time trying to be what everyone wanted me to be, which I dont think helped me find out who I wanted to be.  I was torn between being a band member and an athlete.  I was in "AP" type classes but didnt study much so I didnt always do great if it didnt come naturally.  I was a church goer and a kid that never ditched school except on Senior Ditch Day.
When I got out of high school I went to college and decided I wanted to reinvent myself.  I elected to give up on the soccer thing and the band thing and try and be "cool".  I lost who I was to try and be someone else.  I joined a sorority and later joined ROTC and then my life just kept going.  I dont regret any of this because it helped me get to where I am and to the family I now have... but if I didnt know about this life and I could do it again I wonder how it would have gone.
So, back to making first impressions... I used to love being around people and getting involved.  Now I feel like its a bit taxing and its always been a popularity contest.  Am I skinny enough, do I wear this or that, what are they going to think of me, how much do I say???? The questions are neverending.  Guess the best we can do is just keep trying and maybe someday we wont choose to worry so much about first impressions and we will finally be comfortable with who we are now.