When I got pregnant with H1 I was very excited. I found out she was a little girl and I was both worried and excited. Most people would not describe me as a girly girl and frequently use words like tomboy or jock. How was I going to be able to be a mom to a little girl? I hoped that she would just be a little cuddle bug and would be happy with me as her mom even though I cant braid hair and don't really appreciate barbie dolls. After she was born she slowly started showing C and I that she was going to be a very independent little soul. I wasn't sure how long this would last or if it had something to do with me as a parent. I continued to hope that she would just change into this little cuddle crazy kid and love sitting with me reading books or watching movies.
As she continued to grow we had to put her into an in home daycare. At first she was one of two kids, but after a bit we went to a bigger place. She still wasn't very cuddly and I then attributed it to the fact that she couldn't be held all the time. We finally decided it was good to have such an independent kiddo. She didn't "need" us all the time which meant we could still do our own stuff. She didn't need to be held all the time so we could have babysitters watch her and they said she was so easy and absolutely delightful. I accepted that this was the way we wanted it to be.
We then had H2 and I figured, oh its a boy he wont be cuddly just like his sister wasn't cuddly. When he came home H1 sometimes became cuddly out of jealousy. She didn't change much she just requested a little more time from us, which made a lot of sense to me. My son on the other hand always wanted to be held. He isn't the annoying "cant put the kid down or he will cry" kind of child. He is just a great cuddler. We will all be sitting around watching a tv show or a movie and he just climbs right up and wants to be held. He will be playing with toys and find a book and bring it right up to you, look you in the eyes, drop the book in your lap and sit down on your lap and say "book".
Now that H1 is turning 3 next Friday and H2 is 1.5 yrs old as of yesterday, I am realizing that again, I have no idea what I am doing or what I am talking about when it comes to the kids. I thought I would have a cuddle bug girl and I have a cuddle bug boy. I thought my kids would be slow to start talking and I have two walking talking crazy people that sometimes tell stories I cant even pretend to fathom. My little boy, the lovey cuddler, is also a crazy lunatic when it comes to climbing on everything and my little girl, the independent pumpkin, is also my fellow parent and daily assistant. They both make me smile multiple times each day and remind me that even though I am just making this mommy thing up as I go, I'm doing a pretty good job.
I have two amazing kids that frequently come up and say "i wuv you mommy" and look up at me and say, "I want to hold you". I have two amazing little people that say "I wuv you" to each other before naps and bedtime and share books and toys and play together a lot during the day. I have my little cuddle boy and my independent little sweet girl and I couldn't be happier with how wrong I was about both of them before.
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